Hoo boy! Glad that's over. I mean, some days it ain't worth chewing through the straps to get out of bed.
What am I referring to? The "vacation" at Busch Gardens, of course! Picture this: Me, the better half, J, P and M in a minivan from 8 a.m. until 12:30 p.m. Hey, we got a little lost on the way, plus the better half saw a yard sale she just HAD to stop and check out. Sheesh. Anyway, we park the minivan and start trekking to the main gate. The first thing I noticed was that the humidity level was about 125%. By the time we got to the gate, my shorts and shirt were soaked with sweat. Wait, it gets better! We finally get in the gate, after plowing our way through what seemed like half the East Coast (I kept asking the better half, "Where do all these people go when they're not here?"), and the first thing we do is rent a stroller for M, because he's only four and has very short legs. Word of advice: NEVER, if you value your sanity, take a four year old to a theme park. More on this later.
Got to the first ride. Uh-oh, height restrictions! J stood up to the measuring stick; sure enough, he's too short. I get the funny feeling that he's gonna be too short for a lot of these rides. So we go on, past the Clydesdales paddock (and bubba, them is some BIG DAMN HORSES!), and we head into the Irish part of the park. I know what you're thinking -- Irish I had a beer! By then we're all soaking wet from sweat. Thank God we brought bottles of water with us. I must have some Scottish blood in me somewhere, because I absolutely refuse to pay $2.50 for a bottle of water. Anyway, about this time (about 2 p.m.) it starts to cloud up. Hey, I think, maybe it will rain a little bit and cool things down. Hah. We had an absolute thunderboomer, baby! Lightning, thunder, the whole works. I found out something that day; when there's a thunderstorm, all the outside rides close down. ALL of them. Since the majority of the rides are outside, the best we could do was duck and run for shelter, which happened to be -- a souvenir shop! Somewhere in China some poor yahoo is being paid a dollar a day and a bowl of rice to produce crap that we end up paying $10.00 for. Of course, we couldn't go into a souvenir shop without buying a souvenir, now could we? Especially with three children in tow. (Note to self: next time, lose the kids.) Anyway, souvenirs having been bought, and the rain having stopped, we ventured out. Remember I thought the rain might cool things off a little? Wrong again. It was still hot, but now the humidity was up around 150%. This went on until about 5 p.m. When we weren't dodging rain, we were trying to ride the rides that the kids were allowed on. I finally said the hell with it and just stood in the rain shouting "Why me, God? Why me?" I wasn't actually shouting out loud, but my thoughts were loud and clear.
Today is Wednesday, October 2, 2002. I started working on this blog on September 4. Yeah, it’s been a busy month. I will finish this part of the blog by stating – If you ever consider taking a four year old to a theme park, please consider medicating either yourself or the child, otherwise you will never make it.
Now to catch up. We (the better half and I) had beautiful twin boys for five weeks. They were 29 week preemies, tiny little guys, but they were beautiful. Their mother was incapable of taking care of them due to a crack habit. So for five weeks the better half was in her glory taking care of teeny tiny little boys. They left a couple of weeks ago, and she has now sunk into a depression that I can’t seem to snap her out of. Nothing serious, but when she’s depressed, she likes to spend money. My wallet cringes every time I walk into the house.
The Operation LAMB
campaign is due to kickoff this week. I’ve been spending the vast majority of my spare (ha!) time trying to get this thing off the ground. Only time will tell, but I think we’re actually ahead of where we were this time last year.
It’s also the beginning of a new fiscal year at the office, so I won’t have a lot of time to keep this thing current, but I will try to do better at putting something here at least once a week or so. I said I’d try! Get off my case!